About First Tuesday
I know how many husbands react when their wives suggest attending a marriage enrichment program like First Tuesday. Our first thought is: Why? What’s wrong with our marriage?
Men assume that if people (we mean mostly, men) need to talk about things, there must be a problem. But for women, there’s a problem if we can’t talk about things--especially important things, like our marriage.
In fact, the evidence is pretty clear that marriages fail when couples stop talking. One of the biggest reasons women have affairs is that they are lonely. It’s a leading cause for divorce, too. Women get tired of "being married to a stranger."
Talking with our wives -- I mean, really talking about important things, like our marriage -- may be the single most important thing we husbands can do to strengthen a good marriage or rescue a poor one. It’s up to us.
For Mary and me, First Tuesday has been a regular opportunity to talk with each other about our marriage for the past fifteen years. Many times, the most important conversations we have don’t even happen when we are in the group. They happen before, when we are having supper, or afterward, on the way home -- or sometimes even a few days later. But they happen, and First Tuesday is the catalyst.
We still don’t have a perfect marriage, but I’m not sure we would have made it this far if it hadn’t been for the commitment we made to talk regularly with each other about the most important thing in our lives -- our marriage.
If you’re a little hesitant about participating in First Tuesday (or if you’re outright hostile to the idea), I encourage you to muster up your manly courage and try it for a couple of months. I think you’ll discover that it’s a pretty good way to start -- and keep -- talking about your marriage.