For many persons, the holidays are not a time of joy and happiness. 

The stress of a busy schedule, hidden (and not-so-hidden) expectations, family tensions, separation or loss of loved ones, chronic illness, loneliness, financial hardship, fatigue or depression can all add to the pain of a festive season.  It's all made worse by the fact that everyone else seems to be having a good time and wishes you would too.

The best advice is to be honest with yourself and with your loved ones.  Decide what you can and cannot do this year, regardless of traditions and expectations.  Adjust plans when you need to.  If you feel ups and downs, take advantage of the good times and rest faithfully with the painful times as best you can.  If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, remember that every person (and every family) grieves differently; expect every holiday to be different as you gradually learn to go on living in the absence of your loved one.

If you or someone you know struggles with sadness or grief at the holidays, here are some resources which you might find helpful:
 

Holiday Sadness, Stress and Depression

When the Christmas Season Brings More Pain Than Joy.  Nancy Hightower.  (Sojourners Magazine. 12.04.18)
Depression and the Holidays.  Barbara Kay Lundblad (Sojourners Magazine. 11.12.14)
It's OK If Winter Makes You Sad.  Jason Marsch. (Yes! Magazine 12.15.14)
A Return to Hope.  Cynthia Benge (Cynthia Benge Therapy blog)
A Time to Weep--Advent and Christmas.  John D. Witvliet. (Reformed Worship)
Advent Is a Time to Face Your Fears.  Fr. Terrance Klein (America Magazine. 12.28.18)
Why It's OK to Grieve During Advent.  Elizabeth Nance-Coker (Ethics Daily. 12.05.18)
Happy Holidays--Six Ways to Get There.  James Baraz. (Yes! Magazine. 12.23.10)
Can't Force the Feeling--How Letting Go Helped Me Enjoy Christmas. Sarah Garone. (BustedHalo. 12.19.18)
Survival Guide to a Fairly Happy Christmas.  Leslie Scanlon. (U.S. Catholic Magazine. 12.09)
Will There Be Peace at Home This Christmas?  Gail Besse (Our Sunday Visitor. 12.17.06)
Five Steps Toward Better Holidays.  Benjamin L. Corey. (Patheos blog. 12.14.17)
Five Ways to Cope With Loneliness Over the Holidays.  Julia Hogan.  (Grotto Network)
Holiday Spiritual Practices to Soothe the Soul.  Roger Gottlieb. (Patheos blog. 12.05.12)
Holiday Depression and Stress.  (WebMD)
Four Ways to Avoid Holiday Depression.  Michael Kerr. (Neurocore Centers. 12.22.17)
Tips for Coping With Stress, Depression and the Holidays. (Mayo Clinic)
Four Things to Do to Combat the Post-Christmas Blues.  Chloe Langr. (Aleteia.  12.27.18)

Holiday Grief

Facing Grief During the Holidays.  Paula D'Arcy. (Franciscan Spirit. 11.20.18)
Dealing With Grief During the Holiday Season.  Amy Goyer. (AARP. 12.19.12)
Good Grief in the Holidays.  Celeste Miller. (Locke Funeral Home. 10.15.18)
Grieving During the Holidays.  (Creighton University Online Ministries)
Helping Yourself Heal During the Holidays.  Alan Wolfelt. (Center for Loss. 12.16.16)
From Trigger to Touchstone.  Darwin L. Huartson. (Locke Funeral Home. 11.26.18)
Grief at Christmas.  Kathleen O'Hara. (U.S. Catholic Magazine)
The Gift of Remembering Those We've Lost.  Shannon Hayes. (Yes! Magazine. 12.17.12)
Fatherly Advice--Dealing with Grief Around the Holidays.  Fr. Dave Dwyer (BustedHalo podcast)
The First Holiday Without a Loved One.  Mikala Jamison. The Atlantic. December 23, 2018)
A Different Kind of Christmas. (Performed by Mark Schultz)
A Prayer for Someone Who Is Struggling at the Holiday Season.  Billl Kubat. (Good Samaritan Society. 11.01.18)
Joyce Rupp's Prayer, "The Heart of Eternal Love" (Annunciation School. 10.07.15)
Searching for Solace in Advent and Christmas. Jan Richardson (The Advent Door)

[Last Update: 11.27.20]