Persons are not automatically born with faith. Our relationship to Jesus Christ, his Father, the Spirit and the faith community or church, grows and develops over time, just like any other relationship.
Certain stages or "thresholds" in one's spiritual growth were first identified by Doug Schaupp and later popularized by Sherry Weddell in her book Forming Intentional Disciples (Our Sunday Visitor, 2002). What Schaupp discovered is that individuals generally pass through a series of five thresholds or stages of conversion that culminate in a mature, intentional personal commitment to live as disciples of Jesus Christ.
These thresholds describe a person's relationship to the Divine, not how much they know about the faith or how much they engage in particular practices of a given faith tradition. For that reason, the descriptions below, adapted from Weddell's book, include a specific comparison to interpersonal relationships.
First Threshold
Learning to Trust
The first stage in a person’s journey to faith is learning to trust. In young children, trust should develop naturally and unconsciously as they learn to trust parents and other important adults. They rely on this trust to accept what parents and authority figures teach them about God. In older persons, this trust in others may never have completely developed, was betrayed, or did not transfer to their experience in the faith community. For some adults, trust is difficult because what they learned about faith as a child doesn’t make sense to them as an adult. Others may lack trust because they feel that faith was used to control them as a child or young adult. In any case, continuing to grow toward fuller discipleship depends on establishing or re-establishing a sense of trust in the faith community and its members. The main issue in this stage is, “Can I trust you?”
Compared to personal relationships, which is a helpful metaphor for spiritual growth, this is an early stage of socialization or pre-dating, sometimes called “playing the field.” This is a stage when individuals are looking for potentially significant others they can trust enough to begin sharing important aspects of themselves.
Note: Trust is a fundamental component of faith formation and marriage at every subsequent stage. At any stage, the relationship can be severely damaged or destroyed if events occur which undermine trust. This is why an affair is so devastating to a marriage; the faith community needs to be acutely aware of policies, behavior and attitudes which can undermine an individual’s trust in the community.
Second Threshold
Curious to Know More
The second stage in a person’s journey to faith is a stage at which a person begins to ask questions related to faith and life. They may be curious about various aspects of faith, about the church or religious traditions, about how faith “works” in other people’s lives, about an individual’s personal relationship with Jesus Christ. They will explore these questions and concerns with a person or group they have learned to trust in a kind of casual, theoretical, or impersonal way. The discussion may take on some aspects of a “pro and con” debate. At this stage, a person is not really ready to apply new information to their own lives; they are not yet ready to grow or change (ie, to be transformed), but if it is adequately addressed this curiosity sets the stage for further growth. The main issue in this stage is, “What’s this all about?”
Compared to a personal relationship, this is similar to an early stage in the relationship when a couple might be said to be “dating for fun.” They enjoy getting to know each other better, but neither partner is ready to “get serious.” The relationship is not necessarily exclusive, and in some cases the couple could be dating more than one person.
Third Threshold
Opening to Change and Growth
The third stage in an adult person’s journey to discipleship is the stage at which an individual begins to realize (sometimes reluctantly, and perhaps with some fear) that they need or want to change and grow. This is the stage at which they realize that the information, opinions, and beliefs (the faith) they have relied upon so far in life don’t adequately answer the important questions as they now encounter and understand them. Some persons may be excited about this discovery, but some may be frightened by the unknown; some may be embarrassed by the possibility that what they have relied on so far has been “wrong” or inadequate. Entering the unknown means giving up the illusion of self-sufficiency, which is one of the conventional earmarks of adulthood, and learning to trust others. The main issue at this stage is, “Can I change and do I want to change?”
Compared to a personal relationship, this is the stage when two people begin to get serious and may start thinking about the possibility of making a permanent commitment to each other. It could be called “serious dating,” and is usually exclusive. At the same time, there may be doubts, and people are aware of the risks involved in moving ahead.
Fourth Threshold
Spiritual Seeking
The fourth stage in a person’s journey toward discipleship is the stage at which an individual has resolved some of their initial doubts and has decided to move on in their quest for a deeper, more mature adult faith. This stage is different, and much more intentional, than mere curiosity. An individual’s questions and concerns are much less casual, less theoretical, and more personal. This stage assumes that an individual has decided that a new life of deeper, more active faith is both possible and desirable; but they have also realized that being a disciple has real and serious implications—it requires decisions which change one’s life forever. At this stage, an individual is looking for more information and assurance; they want to know exactly what being a disciple means in a concrete and real way. The main issue now is, “Is this right for me?”
Compared to a personal relationships, this stage is similar to an engagement. A commitment has been made, but has not been finalized. Engaged people are beginning to realize what married life will really be like and preparing for both the opportunities and the challenges. This is sometimes the stage at which engaged people ask those who know them well, “Do you think this is the right person for me?”
Fifth Threshold
Intentional Discipleship (I)
The fifth stage in a person’s journey to discipleship is characterized by a deliberate and intentional decision to live as a disciple of Jesus Christ; this is a choice similar to the widow in the Gospel who sells everything in order to purchase the pearl of great price (Matthew 13.45-6). At this stage, a person has made a positive commitment not just to the idea of being a disciple, but to actually living as a disciple. This is a life-changing decision which may require a significant adjustment in one’s vision, values and lifestyle. Initially, this new way of living is accompanied by great enthusiasm and determination, but nonetheless requires the support (and sometimes the patience) of family, friends and the faith community.
This stage compares to the early months or years of marriage which is sometimes called the “honeymoon.” It is the stage which precedes children, when a couple focuses on each other and gets used to their new life. It is usually accompanied by much enthusiasm and excitement, even though it may require some adjustments the couple did not fully anticipate.
Intentional Discipleship (II)
The sixth stage in a person’s journey to discipleship is a period of adjustment. As life moves on, an individual struggles to balance other concerns and responsibilities which may compete –or even conflict--with their desire and effort to live as a disciple of Jesus; they may conclude that only the truly exceptional person can manage to live as fully and completely as they had hoped. This is not unlike the adjustment the early Christian community had to make once it discovered that Jesus was not returning as soon as they had expected. The danger is that one’s vision and values as a disciple get postponed, compromised or compartmentalized--separated from the rest of life. The individual needs the continued patience, encouragement and support of the faith community to cope with this new challenge without losing commitment or being discouraged by guilt. The main issue now is, “How do I do this?”
This stage compares to the next stage in married life, “married-with-children” or "married-with-a-career." Often other responsibilities (careers, children, aging parents) claim much of the time and energy the couple might otherwise invest in each other and their marriage; the health of the relationship depends on whether a couple can balance all of these other needs with the needs of the marriage itself.
Intentional Discipleship (III)
This is the final stage in a person’s journey to discipleship; it represents a process of resolution and maturation. With time and experience, the disciple learns to balance or integrate their vision and values as a disciple with the concerns and responsibilities of everyday life. In many cases, this occurs largely as the urgency of everyday responsibilities begins to recede; the older individual has more time and energy to contemplate and practice the values and habits of discipleship. In this stage an individual learns to live more comfortably and constructively with the paradox of competing needs, conflicting values and unanswered questions. More and more, the disciple is interested in re-learning or re-appropriating what they have learned before; now the focus is on the “big picture” – sustaining values, ultimate truths, and the final goal of discipleship.
This final stage compares to later stages in marriage, when children have grown up and, in some cases, the couple has retired. Although there are new challenges, the marriage relationship endures and often flourishes if the couple has learned through years of practice how to live and adjust comfortably to each other.
References
Sherry A. Weddell. Forming Intentional Disciples. 2012.
Diarmuid O’Murchu. The Meaning and Practice of Faith. 2014.
Diarmuid O’Murchu. Adult Faith—Growing in Wisdom and Understanding. 2010.
Paul Dinter. Beyond Naïve Belief—The Bbible and Adult Catholic Faith. 1994.
Evelyn Eaton Whitehead and James Whitehead. Christian Adulthood. 2004.
James Fowler. Stages of Faith. 1981.
> Click here to download a checklist which will help you determine what threshold you are at.
[Last Update: 05.25.18]